How to say no to sewing for others
Are you one of those people who avoids telling people you sew for fear of getting asked to hem pants, make curtains, etc? Well today’s post is for you – it’s all about how to respond when someone asks you to sew for them.
Before we get into this, I think it’s important to remember a few things. First, most people are not intentionally trying to be rude or take advantage of you when they ask you to sew something. People who don’t sew really, truly just don’t get it when they make these requests. I think it helps to remember that when you get put on the spot, to avoid reacting out of anger or indignation. Your friends (or, as it often happens in these cases) and acquaintances are truly not out to get you.
Secondly, I believe in sharing knowledge and teaching. You might think that’s because of my background in teaching (after all, 12 years spent teaching high schoolers and you’ve seen all manner of rude behavior) but the truth is I have spent my whole life teaching, well before I ever got certified for it. Because this is one of the bedrocks of my character, I usually try to educate people (as gently as I can) about what goes into sewing time wise. The culture of fast fashion and cheap goods combined with the decline of sewing as a household skill that everyone is exposed to means that misconceptions about how easy or valuable it is are all around.
So, keeping those things in mind, here are 11 responses you can use when someone asks you to sew for them.
1. Yes.
I am a believer that when you can give of yourself with a joyful heart, you should do it. If it would make you happy to help this person out and you have the time to do it, then yes is absolutely the appropriate response. But if their request feels like an imposition, if there’s not a smile on your face and in your heart, then keep reading about saying no.
2. No.
If you can’t say yes with a joyful heart, then No is an entirely appropriate response. But it’s so hard to say! We want to be helpful, we want to be liked, we don’t want people to think we’re rude, so somehow this word gets stuck instead of coming out.
A few thoughts on no:
- It is not helpful to say yes if your heart is not in it. You will end up resenting yourself and your friend for saying yes when you mean no.
- No one says everyone has to like you. People who try find their worth by trying to make everyone else like them never end up happy. They end up as doormats. YOU will like YOURSELF more if you can be assertive but not aggressive, and since you’re the only one that has to live with you forever, you should probably worry about you liking yourself more than anyone else liking you.
- My mom raised me to believe that the purpose of manners is to make those around you comfortable. By asking a question that makes you uncomfortable, your friend is the one displaying rudeness, not you. And the appropriate response to bad manners is graciousness – ESPECIALLY when the person in question doesn’t realize their faux pas. Keep reading for some gracious and humorous answers you can try.
3. I don’t do custom sewing, but I’m happy to refer you to (Name of Friend) who does!
This is my go-to answer when I get these requests. I have a friend I met through the theatre that supplements her income with alterations and custom sewing. I can refer people to her with a joyful heart and she accepts them in the same way. If you don’t happen to have such a friend, I’d suggest googling local tailors and memorizing the name of the most highly recommended one.
4. I only sew gifts, guess you’ll have to figure out how to get on my Christmas list.
Said with a smile, this is a good response when a friend of a friend has you cornered. It also subtlely makes the point that your time and skill is a gift, and most adults recognize that it’s rude to ask for gifts.
5. I’m so glad you like my work, but I only sew for people I sleep with or gave birth to.
If the requestor is someone you feel can handle humor, this response is a good way to deflect the request. Just make sure it’s delivered with a smile and not a frown or as a snap, because it could also come off as very rude. And rude is not what we’re going for here.
This is more blunt, but if you can work the teaching angle, you’re teaching the requestor how you view your skill and that you value your time.
7. I’d rather not take a chance on straining our friendship by bringing business into it.
This is a great response when the request is from a friend and followed with an, “I’ll pay you, of course!” Of course in your head you’re thinking they can’t possibly pay you enough for the hassle, but you don’t need to say that part.
8. I’d love to trade my time sewing for you _____________. We can help each other out!
You can fill in the blank with things like:
- babysitting my kids
- cooking meals for me
- cleaning my boys’ bathroom
- fixing my computer
- organizing and storing 10 year’s worth of vacation photos
- scrubbing the grout in my kitchen tile
- or any other talent your friend has to share
CAUTION though – don’t use this one unless you’re prepared to follow through if they accept. In my case, I pretty much hate cooking, so I might actually take on hemming your jeans if you make me a bunch of freezer meals. This response can also help you educate someone on just how much of your time they’re requesting you to give them.
9. I’d be happy to teach you how to do it yourself.
Like number 8, don’t offer this unless you’re prepared to follow through. In which case yay! New sewing friend. But if their request starts with, “I wish I could sew like you…” and you know that they have neither the actual desire and/or time and follow through to mean it, this is a safe bet to get you out of their task while reminding them that your time is as valuable as theirs.
10. Sure, but I should warn you that you could probably get a ready made one more quickly and for about 1/3 of my rate.
This one is especially effective when you know the person asking is frugal or on a budget and they ask if you can make a similar item to a designer picture for less. Before you feel guilty about saying no in this manner, remember YOUR TIME IS A PRECIOUS GIFT that they are asking for, and you deserve to be paid accordingly should you choose to sew for money. Also remember that there are people who DO sew for money, and if you price yourself ridiculously lower you’re cutting into their livelihood. People who ask for sewing in this manner usually 1) Have no idea how much time goes into making something 2)Prefer not to be aware of the overseas sweatshop labor that makes $5 t-shirts possible 3)Have never shopped for fabric. This is your chance to educate, if you want to.
11. Hysterical laughter.
This isn’t really an appropriate response, but sometimes the request is just so outrageous that hysterical laughter happens before you can stop it. In this case, when you can breath again, insist that you thought they were joking, and then try gently explaining why the request was outrageous. Or use one of the responses above.
Robyn
I used to accept request of mending, repairing or creating from friends. I rarely do now. I love to share my knowledge with others and I now teach several classes per week. When people ask me now to “fix” something for them I say, “No thank you. But, I can certainly teach you to do it yourself.”
liz n.
Same here! “Let me show you” is my response every single time!
Elaine Heigl
Perfect and graceful answer!
Susana
I rarely sew for anyone except my kids, but they at least do favors for me. i havent sewn anything for profit since a customer was dissatisfued with how long it took me to make her a wrap around skirt….using a skirt she had….i had to take it apart then figure how to enlarge it by two sizes, she had to come back for two fittings, and then she didn’t want to pay me because i didnt sew the original skirt back together.i told ger in the beginning she could probably find the same skirt for a lot less from a store. But she wanted this specific material. She talked me down. I havent done another sewing project for anyone since, as it is not worth my tine ir tge aggrvation. And my daughter whose the only one i sew anything for . IF sge wants ut any quicjer i sebd ger to thus otger oerson, and sge realky cgarges a snall firybe.,,.she charged my daughter $100.00 to sew her wedding dress hem. She hasnt complained since. I was going to do it for $30.00. Because some jobs i don’t like doing fir free. i made her two dog fleece beds, but she gave me the left over materials….i made two more beds. ANd still have keftvover material fir Another two small ones ones . I refused to waste my time. If its nit wirth it, won’t do itl
PJ
I used to sew for a living. Until I had a bride break into my house to get the wedding gown she jacked the price on then refused to pay for. She spent her wedding day in jail! Then there was the 300 pound woman who wanted a silver lame wedding gown. Yeah. They never want to pay and they think it will make them look like the model…
heather
Oh my gosh, this is just next level! I sew for a living and I feel like I could write a book on bridal behaviour and expectations… Thank you for sharing! I have had some hum dingers – but Ive never had a bride break in – but then again – Ive been manipulated so badly and had so many people take their goods with promises of doing an EFT that night – never to hear of them again – except to see them swanning about on social media in the dress… accepting compliments. So yeh – I guess Ive been stolen from too – its just that none of them ended up in jail! Good for you!!!! YOU ROCK!! xo
Karla
whoa! I had a similar experience, but she didn’t talk me down. I knew she was not happy though. Ever since then, when someone comes to me with a picture I just say: Its going to be cheaper if you just buy that, because no matter how hard I try, what you really want is whats in the picture. It has always worked.
One time a lady sent me a picture from an amazon apron for $11 !!!!! and LUCKILY I was at Joanne fabrics when I received her text, and I replied back with a picture of a fabric that was $9.99 a yard, and I told her just buy it from Amazon.
Sandra CUNNINGHAM
Same!
Sandra CUNNINGHAM
BTW, when my son-in-law wanted a handful of jeans hemmed I said I didn’t want to but I would help his wife/my daughter. He replied, “I WANT IT DONE RIGHT!” what???
Then there was the bride who asked me to hem TWO wedding dresses and make the front slits more modest. In return she would pressure wash my lanai. Yeah, I never got that pressure washing. Lesson learned…get your half first before you commit.
Jess Abbott
LOL – this is PERFECT! And I love how much grace you put into your responses. Well said Melissa.
Cristina
I have done 8 to great success. I hemmed and did some light mending to several trousers for a friend, while he spent the same amount of time washing dishes and cleaning my kitchen. It was awesome, and we both benefited from the trade.
Kathleen Senical
Actually I must say my oldest daughter is the worst for freebies and it’s not even for her ! She wants me to sew all this stuff for her friends kids and god only knows who and I don’t even know any of these ppl and when I say no she gets furious! But I don’t care anymore fabric costs a lot of money and I’m not using my talent and time to spend my hard earned money on ppl I don’t even know just to put a feather in her cap!! Love all these responses Melissa! Thank you so much..
Roseana Auten
“No, sorry about that, I don’t do custom sewing.”
“I don’t even do my own alterations, that’s how much I hate them. I have a couple places in town I can refer you to.”
“Yeah, I don’t sew home dec. There’s a great place in town where I get my upholstery and pillows done.”
Katie
OMG HOME DEC. I wish home dec sewing would go off and die. Hands down, that is the biggest request I get from people. I only made the mistake of accepting a home dec job one time, and I will never, ever, ever do it again. Like you and your alterations, I don’t even do my own home dec sewing. It’s not fun to me. My favorite request ever has to be the time that my cousin asked me to sew a slipcover for her sofa since “all the ones in the stores are so expensive.” I couldn’t help myself – I laughed right out loud. I explained to her that, even if she got the fabric on clearance, when all was said and done (allowing that I could even figure out how to sew a slipcover!), she could buy at least 3 ready made slipcovers for what it would cost.
Gina S.
I have done mending in exchange for computer work, and felt good about it helping the person out. Most people that ask me think i should just do it because i have a machine 🙁 . First i asked them who told you i sew???? I just started telling them the cleaners in town can do that for them, because it don’t even mend for myself ( little white lie there 🙂 ). I’ve offered to teach them, but they don’t want to learn. So anymore i do the hysterical laugh and tell them they can’t afford me.
Alida Lee
I recently put some hand sewn baby items up for a church raffle and refused to put my business card in the basket. No one get any ideas! I’m only doing this for charity!
Judy L
Sure. I make whatever. So I’ll send all the fabric /notion requirements. Tell them some of my favorite places to shop for the supplies….never hear about making the project again. And I didn’t even get to the part about how long it would take because I work on my time line not theirs
CBS
This is the best response on here! I’m going to use this one!
suze
I NEVER want to say yes to anyone other than family, so the comment about family only works for me! Most people aren’t really an issue, but then there’s that ONE user in the crowd who thinks they are special. Yeah. I have THAT neighbor, who won’t take NO for an answer. I avoid her.
Abby
Such a great post! Your ideas are perfect, and I love that they use kindness to say no.
yvonne
When I learned to sew everyone knew it because I was wearing things they had never seen before and because of the little bits of special detail so subtly displayed on my garments, they would ask: “Did you make that?” and I would proudly say “Yes”. Well an older friend who was very short decided that this was a good time to get that trench coat and that favorite pair of pants cut off and hemmed. I told her that I didn’t do alterations. I told her that the reason I only sewed for myself is because I do it when I feel like it, and that sometimes when I start a project, I don’t always get around to finishing it right away. We both knew of a person who had been sewing for many years, and she was very talented when it came to making things. (But when she used to sew for me, I would always pay through the nose, she would ALWAYS take my ideas and make the same things for herself, and then when I would take a closer look at the work she had done for me–well after the fact, I found flaws, many, many flaws) Thinking back, she would always ask me questions about her work as though they was something wrong with it, and I never looked closely to see that it was, cause I just assumed that ALL was good in the hood. But this older friend also knew how this person was and she trusted me even though I was a struggling new sewer. Well, one day, this older friend showed up at my house with her trench coat, and favorite pants and $20.00, insisting that I could do this–I didn’t think I ‘couldn’t’ do it, I just didn’t want to do it–I didn’t want this to be something that people would regularly trying to get me to do. She had measured and pinned everything, and I didn’t trust her measurements, so I added a few inches to her measurements just to be on the safe side. I did an excellent job on the coat and pants, and she was livid. She said everything still TOO LONG, although I added 2 inches to her items, I didn’t tell her, so as far as she knew, I altered them using the pinned measurements she provided. This time I had her to try them on at my house, and redid them, she was very satisfied with the results, and said she had other things that she wanted me to fix. I told her NO, and that I had projects that I was trying to get finished. She told others about my work–others who had also asked me about altering some things for them. But I managed to flanagle my way out of that. Now my response to people who ask me if I sew, I tell them yes, but only for me. No ifs ands or buts about it, I can live happily without the pressure!
Ajaire
I love the gift one! Great responses and so well said.
Elizabeth Farr
These are all great ways to say no graciously! After saying that I sew for others only for love, I once made up a spreadsheet, breaking down my costs for a garment and the cost of my labor for a friend. She was really glad and shocked to see how much your time is worth in the price of custom work. It ended the request and my friend really appreciated it. In a world of fast fashion, it’s so easy to want the best price for everything, not remembering that there’s people behind those machines working really really hard.
Jane @ Handiworking.com
#5 is my favorite. A repairman came to our house recently and brought his girlfriend along. When she saw a couple of quilts I had made, she said, “You’ll have to make me one.” Never met her before, didn’t even know her first name. I said, “Get in line. You’re at least the 200th person to say that to me.”
Katie
NO ONE realizes the cost of the fabric alone for quilts, forget how time consuming they can be! My mom quilts, and my hat’s off to her because it is not my jam at all. But she gets people saying things like that to her all the time. She’s been working on a quilt for my husband and I to use on our bed, and just the fabric has cost around $300 (maybe more). She’s been working on it on weekends for months.
G
My most outrageous request was a friend of my husband who came to the front door with a moldy, dirty patio umbrella and new fabric. He said his wife wanted a new umbrella but he knew I sewed and could probably make one cheaply. I asked him how it got so bad (I knew he bought it the previous year.) and he said his wife just hated closing it at night or taking it in off the patio in bad weather.
After I picked my jaw up off the floor I gave him some sewing mularkey about my machine. It wasn’t equipped to put in all the pin holders for the spokes, blah, blah, blah. I could not believe the nerve.
Recently my sister who I always say yes to, had me stop by her spare bedroom to see the work I did last year. New custom bedspread, curtains, vanity bench and rocker covers. She had found some material and wondered if I wanted to redo everything just for a change. I bluntly said – “No. Not after all the work I did for you last year.” Sisters have a tendency to make up, but I still was annoyed at the lack of understanding on how much time things take. From now on the Think NO button gets the juice.
Lynne Tilley
I, too, use the excuse that I sew as a hobby, and I frequently start a project and set it aside until much later, when I feel like doing it. Which is entirely true! I sew for the pleasure I get out of it for ME. And I sew gifts to give to my family & friends because it gives me pleasure to do that. But don’t ASK me to make something. I’m fortunate to have family that never asks.
Karen
I have a rather impressive sewing room, so people automatically think I must do sewing and machine embroidery for money. I don’t. It’s my well-deserved hobby, and I enjoy making gifts and fundraiser donations. There is rarely a week that goes by without someone trying to talk me into monogramming or sewing for them. Some people have a really hard time hearing the word “no”. I tell family and friends alike that I never sew on anything that belongs to someone else, because I never know when my machines might go wonky. The usual comeback is that they are willing to risk it. I just give my politely-worded no one time. If they keep yapping at me trying to change my mind, I just smile and ignore them until they get enough sense to change the subject! 🙂
Melissa Evans
I keep good notes on every project including time spent. When someone asks me to sew them “one”, I tell them it took me about__ hours and offer to email them an estimate. This has helped me share the amount of time I invest and that I don’t work for free. I just say no to alterations, I’d rather spend my limited time otherwise.
justine
I love your ideas Melissa! I think I need to copy and paste #10 the next time someone asks for a dress for the same price as the mall.
Diana G
I absolutely love #7 and will use that one in the future !! I really enjoyed all the responses!
I have a sister in law who thinks she knows everything including sew; so when my brother in law asked me to do some sewing for him-I said: well ask your wife she knows it all and can sew that for you. He replied: OH hell no I want it done right .. So he hasn’t asked me since to do any sewing for him. Imagine that one ! LOL
Thanks for posting these .. from now on my answer will be I sew for my granddaughters and that is all I sew for !
Kristie
I have done hair for 10+ years. And while I love it, people don’t realize how much time I do spend on it. I also love to sew, but just for fun, just for me and my kids. And fixing my hubbys pants. And I am good with just doing it for me and the family. Because nothing is better than having your kids get excited because you spent some time and made them something. Those hugs just can’t be replaced. Thanks for posting this. Will pin and forward everyone to this when they ask if I sew.
Terry
I had this discussion with my hairdresser. She had taken her daughter’s prom dress to a drycleaner to get it hemmed, and they charged $15–which she thought was too high. She said she knew that I sew and should have taken it to me. I told her I would have charged $25. When we discussed that you’re not just paying for labor, you’re paying for expertise, equipment costs, etc., a light bulb went off in head. She talked about all the people who think she should charge less for doing their hair just because they don’t want to pay more. But she still has overhead and materials costs, plus her expertise in doing hair is worth money. She gets it now. Just because something looks easy doesn’t mean it’s not involved, or that preparation is not needed, or that anyone can do it. And I doubt that she will ever hire me to do a sewing job for her!
Sandra CUNNINGHAM
And nothing is worse than having your child tell you NOT to make any more hand made things for them! I was so stunned and hurt that I didn’t sew for TWO years. Now I know I have to KNOW my audience and that not everyone values your skills. sigh
Liv Clarke
I’m not surprised you were upset, I would be too. Glad to hear that you got back in the saddle.
Jacqueline Brown
I made my college age son a very nice shirt and matching vest. I later found out he gave/sold it to his roommate who liked it. He wasn’t a fan of that outfit.
emilia
so kind you are!! yes! i never know what to say to people! mostly, i like sewing new stuff. i dont even fix my own family’s broken clothes….
Tracy
I once had a coworker ask if I could sew a cover for his BOAT. A BOAT! With my tiny beginner home sewing machine. I had to go with the hysterical laughter on that one, because there was no other response.
Anne
These are awesome!! When people ask me to hem pants, I tell them that I tend to hem them too short. Which is true. But no one wants their pants too short so they don’t press me further. For other projects, I’ll tell them to bring it over and we can hang out while I work on it. Apparently I’m not very much fun to be around because no one takes me up on that. Ha!! I’ve got a Craft Gossip post scheduled for later today that links to your post: http://sewing.craftgossip.com/what-to-say-when-someone-asks-you-to-sew-for-them/2015/03/27/
–Anne
Janet
While I too, mainly sew and embroider for gifts and family, I trade services for haircuts for my children.
I sew cute outfits for my friend “the beautician” and her daughter and in return she keeps the kids hair cut. What a
great trade off!! When money is tight, bartering is an awesome way to make ends meet.
STH
I once had someone at the company where I worked at the time–someone I had JUST MET–tell me “Oh, I have a huge pile of clothes that need mending!” I think she saw the expression on my face and that was that.
The most common request I’ve gotten is to replace jeans zippers. That’s an easy one to deal with–I just say that my inexpensive home sewing machine can’t handle all those layers of heavy fabric and tell them to take it to a pro. Happens to be true (they don’t need to know how much I despise mending and don’t do mine until my own pile is big enough to fall over).
Kim
THANK YOU for posting this!!!!! I never know how to respond. I have two little people under foot so what little time i have on the sewing machine is so sacred!!!! I get some of the strangest requests and people automatically think that I am sitting around waiting to sew something for them. Free of course. Thanks again this made me laugh and realize that all sewers get these funny questions!!!!
Mary on Lake Pulaski
I wonder how long it will take me to memorize these ….. or maybe …
I’ll just email them to all my friends and relatives so they can go over them BEFORE they ask me.
Laura
Great ideas. I’m always looking for responses to people who ask me to sew because I should be able to do it “cheaper”! I really dislike making repairs, so I tend to put them off, thus I can point to a pile of them and say I’m backed up already. And, my family can back it up, LOL.
Cindy
I usually tell them that I only do craft sewing and I’m afraid I’ll ruin their garment. That usually works.
Love #5, by the way.
Linda Durbin
I couldn’t love this post more! People seriously think that when you are “crafty” anything you create happens by magic. I’ve been asked for so many different things and as a result have learned to say that I would love to teach them. That usually stops most people, and the ones who do want to learn turn into a crafting buddy. win/win.
http://www.cascadinggems.com
sandy stevens
I am just getting back into sewing, but have a friend who is very talented (her dad was a tailor). If I needed something done, we exchanged services – she made curtains or did some small upholstery jobs for me, and I each year I did her families tax returns. We both thought we got an amazing deal!
Shannon P
I am pretty sure I could spend all of my free time patching knees in my nephews pants…so I jokingly made it clear to my sister that mending is just not my thing. Ha, now my mom does it for them-but I guess that’s what moms are for (ok, I do mend my children and husband’s clothes). I love your responses and I think I will have to put #5 to use!
Stitchwiz
I started picking up older sewing machines, usually the old Singer machines which are built like tanks, on Goods Exchange Day. I just make sure that they have the multi-stitch zig-zag. I clean them and make sure they work well. I have a basic machine manual which I put together which stays with the machine so that it can be used and serviced properly.
Then when someone asks me to sew for them, I invite them to bring their items over and spend a morning with me. I set up the machine and teach them how to do it themselves. When they leave, the machine and manual goes with them. For the investment of a few hours, they have what they need to mend their own clothes. Because they learned on that machine, they usually continue sewing for themselves.
There are quite a few more people who now sew for themselves in my town. Word has gotten out that if they ask me, they will learn. I have a new group of friends who are all at various stages of sewing and we have all learned from each other – and not just sewing!
I have a rarely used, older Singer sitting under the table right now, ready to go, just waiting for a new home…
Elizabeth
THAT IS AMAZING! Now I know what to do with all those sewing machines that seem to find me! A great way to share and pass on an art.
Carol
i will say yes once and they usually offer to pay. I never accept payment and they usually do not ask again because they feel bad because I would not take payment. Works for me every time.
PattyP
Unfortunately, that won’t work for a lot of us. Most of us know people who will take advantage, and not do the right thing. I have a niece who is extremely rude when she is with only me & my husband. When the rest of the family is around, she acts sugary sweet. She had the nerve to come over and act that sugary way when we were alone and I instantly knew she wanted something from me. She asked me to alter a tailored blazer, and I knew she would expect it for free. I told her I would ruin it if I tried, which is likely true, as that is beyond my skill set. I didn’t remind her how rude she was to my face months earlier. I was pretty sure she’d taken it to a tailor and the price was more than she wanted to pay.
Like others here, I’ve had a handful of other people expect me to fix something for them for free. There is a percentage that simply will take every advantage they can.
Heather
Im a knitter and a sewer.. People seem to think I have “ample” time on my hands since I have TWO hobbies.. I, also, have 5 children that I homeschool and I attend college full time. My husband works full time and is in school full time as well so he is rarely home. When people ask I tell them when they look at my schedule and find 10 minutes for me to even hem my own pants without disturbing my normal relaxation time then I will do whatever it is for them (for a fee because I don’t work for free). I then hand them my schedule. It shuts them up really really quickly. Yes I have 2 hobbies that I do to keep me sane enough and relaxed enough to do a good job at my many responsibilities. Im not changing my relaxation time into another cause of stress by agreeing to make things for others.
Well, except my husband or babies. They can have whatever I can make because they don’t care if it takes me 2 months to knit a toy or sew a shirt.
Ginger
Love these. I hate when people think I sew because it’s cheaper than buying ready made clothing. Maybe it was one day, but not anymore.
Jen in Oz
The last two times I tried to sew for a friend were a disaster – one time I was embroidering a shop logo on a friend’s jacket and got the sleeve caught up in the embroidery and ended up having to cut it out! The second time, a friend supplied me with quilting cotton printed with Route 66 and motorbikes (her current lust, I guess) for a vest, but I put the last button hole on way up the neckline by mistake for some reason. I gave it to her anyway, but I doubt she’s worn it, assuming she looked at it and figured out what the problem was. Maybe they’ll learn not to ask me to sew for them from now on.
Alison
I smile and say, “You cannot afford me!” 🙂
Katrina
Yep. Perfect comment.
Lisa
It doesn’t happen to me often, but a few weeks ago the neighbour came to me asking if I would hem her pants. We’re new in town and she’s 84 so I said yes. It turned out it was 4 pairs and I worked for 2,5, including fitting etc, blind hem. I told her not to pay me, but she insisted. She brought me 10 euros later. I wasn’t super happy about the work to start with, but this made it even worse for me. I would rather have her not pay me at all then put such a low price on my work. Even though she said was very happy and thought I did the job well, she clearly didn’t understand how much time it had cost me. So I hope she won’t spread the word to the other neighbours, or I’ll have to say no or state a higher price…
Peta
Oh, tell me about it. It’s like you wave your magic sewing wand and hey presto. Done. Some people also think you don’t have a life and ask ‘Can I have it tomorrow?’ My stock answer is No. A friend (male) asked me AGAIN to put a badge on a t-shirt he had. Lucky for me there was an embroidered motif already on it that would have to be covered but some unpicking needed to be done. I told him if he unpicked the old motif I’d add the new one. A week later he comes back horrified by how much work it had been and how long it took to do. Also there were holes. Oh, surprise, surprise. Lesson learnt. I will keep your suggestions for answers ON MY REFRIGERATOR and simply point to the appropriate one when asked again. Thanks. Oh, the male friend now asks with this disclaimer. ‘Don’t rush any time you can get around to it. I KNOW>
Regina Roza
I’m lovin that hairdo with the “hair-bow” lol…..that is the best !!
I have some pretty hysterical stories about people asking me to sew for them; i’ve been sewing since i was 10 years old
(i’m 53 years old now) so over the years there have been so doozies!!
great post melissa!
Edith
This is the best article I’ve read! I have a sewing business and only sell a limited items (things that I’ve sewn hundreds of that I could sew with my eyes closed). I often get asked to sew things that I just don’t normally sew. I can sew anything but, to dew those things that are requested takes so much more time to get done because I can’t do it with my eyes closed. SO I am getting better at saying no politely. For good friends I love trading. and I love the comment above where someone hemmed jeans and the friend did dishes for the same amount of time in her kitchen! I’m suggesting that next time.
Stacia
This post is awesome (and funny!). I work at a quilt shop and do outside sewing for pay, but it is certainly not lucrative and sometimes not very enjoyable. Usually when I give an estimate for a large project like a T-shirt quilt (it’s amazing how people who don’t sew think these things just magically materialize!), I don’t hear from them again. Which is fine, because if they can find someone who will do it cheaper and better, they can have at it!
Jessie
When I worked a co-worker asked me to make some curtains. When I got done giggling I told him to go price fabric, thread and notions. Then double that amount for what I was going to charge him. A couple hours later he came back and said he would buy curtains. If anyone asks now I just tell them I’m too busy.
Susan
Last year I made superhero capes for my granddaughter and grandson. Their school was having a silent auction around Christmas time so I made another cape to donate to the auction. I stupidly put my name on the display card and had 11 Moms stop me in the hall over the next couple of weeks asking me to make capes for their 2 (3, 4 or 5) kids for Christmas !! I accepted the first two requests then put a quick halt to things when I realized the requests were not going to stop. I later made two crayon aprons, one for my granddaughter and one to donate to yet another auction at the elementary school. This time I didn’t put my name on the item but somehow my name surfaced again and I started getting email requests from people I didn’t even know. I had learned my lesson by then and I now answer requests for sewing “Sorry, I have two daughters and five grandchildren. My sewing time is booked up until 2025 by which time, if I’m still alive, I will be far too old to sew. So sorry !”
Melisa
I once made a slipcover for a hide-a-bed couch out of denim. It was important to me to be able to make it so that the whole thing did not have to come off when we needed to use the bed, so it was definitely custom. After friends found out I did that, they asked if I would make a slipcover, reupholster, sew blah, blah, etc for them and my response was a huge laugh followed by you couldn’t afford it. I wasn’t ugly about it, but was serious about the price. To make mine, I made my pattern out of muslin and then very nervously put the scissors to the fabric. It really was pretty and fit very well.
Denise
Thanks a million for this post, I think of all your posts I have read this is the absolute best. I too sew for a living, people truly have no idea what they are asking of you. Tears rolled at the # 11 hysterical laughter, because sometimes it does seem the best option. All kidding aside, I think the best option is to constantly offer to teach them how to handle it themselves either by suggesting a tailor or helping those who want to learn.
Sarah Day
I was with a group of female friends. One of them mentioned how good I was at sewing (I’m not that good!) and that I designed my own clothes too. One of them said ‘do you sew for other people?’ My friend, quick as a flash said. ‘I’m her manager and you can’t afford her!’
Cee
Haha what a great friend 🙂 We all need one of those!
Carol Urban
I get irritated when my own mother volunteers my sewing and knitting abilities.
People ask me to knit them an afghan for the back of a sofa. No way! First, I don’t knit afghans and second, I’m not going to waste my time when you can find one already made at the thrift store.
I knit and sew for my immediate family only because it’s a labor (and I do mean labor) of love. No one really appreciates the cost of good yarn or the amount of time it took to knit a project. I have no problem saying NO in a definitive voice!
LeeAnn
A dear friend, who has no idea the amount of labor and cost of supplies would involve, asked me to put a new lining in her high-end but well-worn winter coat. It was sad to have to disappoint her, but I told her that it would be cheaper to purchase a new coat.
Jenya
Great responses with honesty, humour and grace 🙂
Laura J.
I sometimes tell people that I only sew for kids because they don’t have curves. I will do a little bit of mending (mending, not alterations) for a friend in need or someone who can’t do it him/herself, but for able-bodied folks, I offer to show them how to do it on their own… and they never take me up on that.
Stephanie
This is so funny! I can so relate to this!! I hit my husband with a rolled up magazine after the cable guy left once because he handed him my card…this guy wanted a mockup design made for a life jacket he wanted designed…A LIFE JACKET! And not only that, it was supposed to support the lower half of the body…so, it allowed you to sit in the water…ridiculous!! I had another lady who, when I declined her request to make a lined jacket from a pattern for her, tried to guilt me into “isn’t this why you went into sewing” …she then proceeded to call a friend IN MY HOME (during my kids nap time!!) to price check what she would charge to do this. The friend said she’d probably charge $75 including fabric. She got off the phone and gasped, “wow, she said she would charge $75″…I bluntly told her, “wow, I would have at least charged $150…if I did that kind of thing” You are right, some people just don’t get it, but, gosh it’s so irritating when they keep pressing the matter! I would consider myself somewhat of a people pleaser, but, I’ve gotten really good at saying no! Thank goodness! Thanks for the post, Melissa!
Annie
Thank you for this post! Just the other day I had a friend post a baby blanket to my Facebook asking if she bought the fabric could I make one for her granddaughter. That’s the worst, as if my time isn’t worth anything and the only cost involved is the material. Not to mention the few times I have accepted this “offer,” they never get enough fabric or the right stuff and not only do I still end up shelling out of pocket, but its usually more than I would have spent if I had just bought the materials myself in the first place. While it may sound reasonable to the person asking, in my experience, it hasn’t always been that way. I have an 8 month old and work full time so my sewing time is very limited and I want to be able to enjoy my hobby, not stress over it and for Pete’s sake, people, if I’m going to sew, it’s going to be for my little girl first and foremost! I just kindly redirected her to similar etsy listing where she balked at the $45 price tag. This is the same person who tagged me in a post about having a baptismal gown made for her granddaughter in a very indirect way – thankfully I could just ignore that one and pretend I didn’t see it. Because, yeah, I’m going to go to all that time and effort making that when I could make a beautiful dress for my baby that will be worn more than once. Whatever. I would much rather surprise someone with a gift I enjoyed taking the time to make rather than feel pressured to do it. I have been fortunate to have a friend who will trade wonderful photography sessions for a dress for her little girl and that’s been a huge blessing to me! I’m printing these out and I’m going to post them on the bulletin board above my sewing machine so I always have them handy!
Ticia
I really don’t mind sewing for other. However I’m not afraid to tell them if I don’t know how to do it. I am also going to send you for all the supplies on your dime. Hems I really don’t mind but I will only do them if the person is there for the hem.
Linda
when I began quilting I was surprised at how many people asked for a quilt! a QUILT! they are hundreds of dollars and boucoup time involved. even a wall hanging is a large request.
grannie
my responds to close friends who I am willing to sew for is
” oh well you know I can only sew when the housework is done and the kids are taken care of, so would you like to come over saturday and clean my house and the kids can play together while we work. you buy the fabric, thread, pattern, notions, and a pack of sewing machine needles and I will waive my $15.00 an hour charge. do you need help picking out materials? We can go friday morning while kids are at school. then meet at 9am on saturday. oh do we need to shop for lunch foods or will you bring your kids a packed lunch? oh gosh dont let me forget to put a roast in the crockpot. I wouldnt want you to have to cook dinner too while I sew.”
no one ask me again.
Brendi
I love it! I sew for people who know the cost and the time involved and appreciate the gifts I make them. I hate alterations and refuse to do them for anyone. I once pointed out to a co-worker that taking apart and rebuilding that $20.00 pair of on sale jeans would cost them at least six hours of my time at $15.00 an hour for machine work and $20.00 an hour for hand work, at which point they decided to buy a pair of jeans that actually fit them. Most people have no idea of the work involved in even simple alterations or they wouldn’t ask any0ne to do them.
Jain
I once got involved with a lady who needed her whole wardrobe shortening and reluctantly carried on repairing and shortening things. Until the day she turned up with a threadbare towel asking me to resew its outside edge back into place, I am afraid I laughed and had to tell her no more and that she should spend her £5 on a new towel instead. Thankfully I went back to full time work and could also tell her I had no time to fit repairing in. I love sewing for me but hate it for others so say NO, and tell them it would cost £x. They never follow that up now.
Sandy
I use to have a neighbor that would bring her husbands clothes down and want me to alter them. I would make her sit right there while I did it in hopes that she would get tired of having to wait and stop bringing me stuff. The final thing that I have not seen her since was she brought me her hubby’s jeans and wanted me to take up the waist, she said I could just fold over and sew it. I was not very nice I just told her “No, I don’t like sewing jeans there’s a lady around the corner that does sewing”” shes never been back but I felt guilty in not explaining that I could not “just fold over” this could break a needle and throw my machine off plus I really don’t like jeans. My hubby did see them after that and told them he had to wait 3 mos to get his jeans hemmed.
Yvie
I have an embroidery feature on my sewing machine, and my sister goes shopping and buys really nice no name brand items and then brings bunches of them to my house wanting me to embroider Designer names on them–shirts, blouses, jeans, capris, sox, shoes, leather skirts and jackets, etc., you name it. I keep telling her that I can’t do it, and yet, time and again she comes back with the same request. In fact, she will get mad at me for telling her no. And get this, she has the nerve to tell me “where” on her garments she wants the embroidered label to go. Then she wants designs on her jeans, shirts and capris–on the legs, pockets, sleeves, collars. Things you have to ‘pick apart’ at the seams, embroider and then put together again–it all boils down to sewing for someone, all of the things I adamantly said I don’t like doing and that I’m not going to do. When that didn’t work, she bought a pair of jeans and a shirt, and some fabric, she brought that over and wanted me to put elbow patches on the sleeves and using the same material, line the bottoms of the legs of the jeans with the same fabric so she could cuff them and have a very nice ensemble. I did that so she would just STOP with the projects.
Sue
you can also tell her; it’s illegal! One cannot use a copyrighted logo…etc. Tell her to contact the company that she is trying to defraud/hijack and get back to you.
Di
I love to sew for myself and hate mending and altering. It hogs up my ‘fun’ time making my own clothes. Love this article!
Sharon Lord
I too nearly ended a friendship when I was offered $5.00 for a three tier child’s cotton skirt. It took nearly a day to sew. I would have made the peasant outfit freely for the young girl, with love, but I intensely resented the miserable amount offered as payment. Especially as my friend was also a sewer and had a well paid job!
marie
Love it !!!! Why do non-sewers think they can come to you and expect you to make/mend etc for peanuts. Just last month I did a custom bag for someone. The raw materials cost over £26 and although it took a lot longer than 15 hours to make, I only charged her £15 (£1 per hour).
She was not at all happy to be charged £40 – she thought it would only be £25, and was to include £3.50 postage….. – and asked if I could bring down the price to a ‘more reasonable’ £30. That would mean my hourly rate was 33pence I refused and kept the bag for myself.
Nancy Fichtner
A friend asked me if I could help her mend a couple of things for her. I said sure. She showed up with two garbage bags of clothes. I was completely shocked. I realized that there was an even bigger issue here. I needed to learn to set boundaries. I helped her with the two bags of clothes and told myself “Never again”! So she recently asked me to help her hem a dress. I said I would be happy to help her pin it so she could hand sew it herself, my machine needed to go to the shop and was out of commission (which was true!). But I did not get suckered into doing her sewing and mending again. Saying no is terribly hard sometimes. But much better than the stress of saying yes!
Cee
I am big on the barter system. My yoga teacher needed some sewing done so she gave me free lessons for the month. My partners workmate needed his pants hemmed so he sharpened my kitchen knives for me. I have also on occasion referred to others or responded with an awkward laugh and an ‘err not really’. It totally depends on who is asking 🙂 I do make it very clear that I don’t make clothes for other people, only me (because then only I know where the bodged bits are!!)
Laura D
My usual response is that no, I don’t do alterations and I only sew for family and anyone outside my immediate family is a rarity. That said, I *did* remove a collar from a fleece jacket for my SIL’s sister. Because, well, you do things for family that you wouldn’t do for other people. And I really HATE alterations. People make a big deal of my sewing skills, but I know how much I don’t know. Yes, I can alter a pattern slightly. Yes, I can sew just about any kind of fabric. But I’ve only sewn for my kids and my nieces and nephew. Give me someone with curves and I don’t know what to do! After all, I started out as a child sewing for dolls over thirty years ago. And baby dolls don’t have curves, either.
khedija safta
I tried the ” i’ll show you” it doesn’t work … they answered “we don’t want to learn” , i tried “i m so busy right now , i do it for fun an only for myself” i doesn’t work neither … ARGHHHH but the hysterical laugh is what i usually do and then comes silence :p but the fifth one seems a good one , people some time insist too much :/
Mary
I loved your post. An acquaintance called and asked me to hem a silk dress for a formal event she was going to attend that night!! People don’t realize the time involved and unfortunately most don’t respect and value the skills needed to do the job.
melanie
I had someone last week ask me to make 5 bridesmaids dresses, with NO pattern, but a picture!! Then somehow slipped in pictures and comments about her wedding dress. I told her it would be cheaper to buy,, the pics she wanted was like all lace and super long and flowy, I told her she would be lucky to get JUST the fabric for under 500$ she’s like oh I’ll just get the cheap stuff, I was like 15$ a yard for lace IS the cheap stuff… people these days.. ugh!!!
Rosa
I’ve only ever hemmed pants for a friend, who’ve when I needed babysitting at the last second, always said yes. I’ve never charged her or she I.
When I take custom requests I let the person know my ‘first’ one will be just for them at a discounted rate because of the time it takes me to figure it out, and the ones that follow will be priced at what they are worth. I’ve never had anyone ask for two of anything at a low price.
I’m lucky that I have a stern look about myself so people tend not to ask 😉
Val
My son asked if I could hem their new drapes. OK I went over to their home. There were 4 ready made panels they wanted me to sew 2 sets of panels together then just turn the hem up twice. I didn’t like the way they were turning out so took them home to do. Finished them took them back hung them. They were all happy. Next time I went over one drape is a tad longer than the other one can I fix it. Of course I said yes. 3 months have gone by my son said can you do the drape mom I said yes of course when you bring your special hedge trimmer over and do my cedars. (Only asked him 3 years ago.) needless to say I am sticking to my guns the time he does my hedge I will be right over to do the drape. The same DIL was going to her brothers’ wedding DGD was flower girl. She had a beautiful dress. She wanted something done to it and I said sorry I would be scared of making a mistake on that expensive fabric. So she took it to a dressmaker for alterations.
Anke
I love Nº4 and Nº5!! Since I run a professional sewing studio I can’t really use them so I usually go with Nº 10 or a variation of the theme. I also refer people to a colleague (nobody has ever called her though so it looks they were looking for a favour ..)
Lori
As a quilter I can definitely relate!
Mia
Me: I just say no ( with a smile ), and follow up sometimes with , ” if you can tie your shoes, you can learn to sew on a button ( .. hem your jeans, sew a seam… ) , or if the request is for something more, I follow my ‘no’ with , ” sewing is very labour intensive “.
I think such requests are thoughtless actually. If I don’t know how involved it is for a carpenter to build a piece of furniture: I still wouldn’t be requesting a freebee; or a big reduced rate: I’d sort of know by common sense don’t you think.
Mia
So how much do you think these ‘requests’ are related to a woman with skills vs a man? I’m thinking people ask these sorts of ‘favors’ from women much easier than they would from a man.
Whit
Mia,
If they ask a woman easier than a man, then they’d ask a woman at the drop of a hat. The requests come in and it’s at rates that would make sweat shops look like white-collar jobs. The same with woodworking, by the way.
Whit
Linda
Good question. I think it’s hard to say. My husband is really good with computers and used to get asked by a lot of people to “fix” them when they are running slow, etc. Sometimes hardware issues, too. People don’t realize that sometimes that can take hours of his time to do. He finally decided that he was either going to say “no” or to tell them it would be $50 just to look at it and then an hourly rate on top. The only one he fixes for “free” now is his mom’s or his dad’s. He still doesn’t feel like he can say no to them, LOL. Nearly every time we go to their house they have some electronic device that he needs to “look at”. And we are there once every couple of months usually. One time his dad had like 500 pieces of malware on his laptop that needed to be removed. It took like 6 hours.
Mara
This is interesting because I’m a woman. I sew (and crochet, and knit, and quilt) AND fix computers… and I’m starting to get into woodworking.
I get sewing requests constantly, no hesitation with the “oh you sew? There’s this pair of jeans I have…” – I’ve even had people just drop things off without prompting and act like they’re being generous by saying “I’ll buy you coffee next time I see you, no rush, just get to it whenever”…) – that’s by all genders, only difference being men are more demanding, women more pleading. Maybe a coincidence. —— Now when it comes to computer work, I get the same “here’s my laptop, idk, won’t turn on, I’ll buy you a Frappucino” (everyone knows I love coffee!) but they do a lot of “um…. you know… if you can’t figure it out… I can take it in somewhere” doubts. When they find out that my male sig. other Ren also does computer work, they immediately switch to asking HIM with 100% confidence (no doubts about his skill), but HE gets the “IF you have time, I know you’re probably busy, and I can pay you for your time, I know they’d charge me hundreds at a repair shop, so” waaaaaaaaay more frequently than I do, including by the same exact people. They just assume I have all the time in the world and don’t need to be paid for it. —— And with woodworking? Exact same deal (“can you copy this end table I saw on Wayfair? I didn’t want to pay $50 each, that’s ridiculous, and I need 2. Thanks, I’ll buy the wood of course!”)… they try to pass the bigger projects onto Ren – MORE OFTEN with “I would just rather buy local than from Walmart” than “I just don’t want to pay real money” – not knowing that Ren doesn’t do any of that stuff and doesn’t know the first thing about any tool in my garage workshop, lol…
SUSAN KAPUSTKA
How about “Well, I don’t like that kind of work, but I really do need the money, so I will look at it.” Now they know there is cash involved, and it has to be a decent amount.
cheryl
Great post, it made me chuckle. I so get it. People always think oh its cheaper to make things or next to nothing, and do not understand when i try to get out of their requests to take up curtains, your crafty and have a sewing machine and they expect you to do it. My mum is the worse for this as when I visit she has curtains from friends, that need taking up. It wont take you long. I cant understand how she thinks i am going to guess how short they want the curtains etc..
She has gone in the huff when I finally said No. Thinks I am lazy and selfish. I don’t sew my own curtains so why would sew someone else’s I don’t even know. Thanks for the tips on getting out of it graciously!
Linda
I love this post! SO many times folks who don’t sew have no idea what really goes into a project. Usually I truly am booked up with personal projects that I have planned . I just explain that “I’m booked up until …” (usually a couple of months down the road). “If you want to contact me again then I can maybe take a look at it.” Or “I couldn’t even begin to work on it until then.” Usually people want things done in a more timely fashion and realize that if I do it, it isn’t going to happen on their time table, it will be on mine. It also helps them realize that I have limited time and that their project isn’t the only thing I have going. Occasionally they are still willing to wait, and if they are willing to wait I will give it more thought. Most of the time they move on.
Julie
Oh, boy can I relate! A few years ago, I taught myself how to sew. I learned to make tote bags and I gave one to a friend for her birthday. Next thing I know, she’s calling me to ask if I would fix her son’s pants because he’d ripped the hem. I did them for a rather small fee, thinking that would be the end of it. Then she asks if I can hem her dad’s pants–4 pairs! Again, I said said yes, because I’m a people pleaser. A couple of weeks later, she brings me her son’s friend’s curtains over to be hemmed. I did them, but finally told her I didn’t want to do any more mending. A month later, another friend called, asking me to hem her daughter’s pants, so I did. Then she wanted a dress hemmed for herself right away…I did it, but decided if she asks again, I would say no. Turns out, the first friend had recommended me to the other friend–she had been telling everyone she knew that I could do mending for them! I called her back and ask her nicely NOT to tell anyone else that I sew! Luckily, she understood, thank goodness!
Joyce Ruby
I loved your replies….all eleven! My husband came home from work one day with a doozie. Since I was the “good sewer” he had bragged about to a friend/co-worker, he volunteered my services for three bridesmaids dresses & said I would be one of the bridesmaids & for making the dresses! I had two little ones & was a stay-at-home-mom. The bride-to-be paid for everything but my time. I received the dress and a thank you & hardly ever saw them after that!! I learned the hard way. Now I don’t feel guilty since I see I’m not the only one that get many, many requests from non-sewers!
Jen Bunker
I will often say I am really busy these days and they might have to wait a long while before I can get to it.
Marjan
i had someone call me to make them a blazer, custom fit, for that same day. When I explained that the next day would be possible and named a prize that is still on the low side for a fitted, custom made blazer the next freakin day, they asked how in the name of all things holy I dared to ask more for a blazer than H&M does. I started laughing like a maniac and hung up the phone. People dont get how much time and effort something takes because they only see the finished products and want everything as cheap as possible
Jennifer
People actually offered to pay you? I had neighbors on both sides of me in our last apartment complex ask me to hem all their children’s school jeans and choir costumes because “It’s too much trouble for me to get my sewing machine out.” Sad to say, I did all their hemming. My rationale was that we lived in a bad neighborhood and, if I sewed for them, they’d have a vested interest in calling the police if they saw someone breaking in to protect their source of free sewing services.
Nancy
I usually say….”When I sew for free, I sew for me” that usually ends the request right there.
Katrina
I usually tell people. like Alison above. that they can’t afford me. If they press me, I tell them if it takes less than 20 minutes it’s free. If it takes more than 20 minutes it costs $20 an hour and they have to have an hour’s worth of work. An original design is worth more depending on complexity and materials are separate. I usually offer to show them how to do the thing they are asking. If they are shown how, they can’t come back to me again for the same thing. There are certain people I do things for so that they owe me favors.
When people ask me to do wedding dresses, I tell them that I am a theatre costume designer and I only make things that look good from 20-30 feet away. (I can sew couture, but I do not want to handle brides or bridesmaids EVER.)
Katrina
Oh and I WILL work for Chocolate. Good chocolate.
Bev
This time of year people are constantly asking me to sew Christmas things so they can give as gifts or decorate their home. Of course they always say “it wont take long” or “it is just a small tree skirt” etc. I tell them that at the present time I am only sewing my own gifts (but I have actually finished my projects). I want to enjoy the season also!
MelanieV
In my old age, I’m predominately a quilter. When my daughter was in school, I made all her prom dresses, and made many of her clothes as she is very tall, then later on made her wedding dress. When word got out that I made her formal wear, the line que’d up and I had requests for formal wear for every possible occasion. For one wedding I made the Gown, matron and 6 maids dresses and even a suit of clothes for an infant to wear. Then the requests for home dec started coming in. Surely if I could make a wedding dress, I could sew every scrap of bedding, window treatments, even lamp shades. While the income was very good, the stress level was ridiculous. What people see in their minds and what the true result is, is almost always different. There is always the risk of a disappointment. It’s just not worth it in the long run. Now I make quilts. I give honest quotes to those who think I should make them one (why exactly are they entitled to my time and money?). Family members and deserving friends truly do go on a list. They know up front that they have to wait. They get what I want to make unless I’m making for a special occasion. If they want a free quilt from me, then I should get to enjoy making it.
jules
So so true. Recently a friend asked me to hem a neckline on a dress that she had cut off.since i was not well, working and doing my own things didn’t do it immediately. After a week she asked for it back and said she would ask someone else as she wantedto wear it.
Sorry but i sew when iwant to. The joy is being able to wearit.
Mary
I do alterations and custom sewing and find it really demeaning when people are shocked at what I charge. Sewing for other people isn’t easy. Sometimes it can be fun, like when I made a 19th Century ball gown with 10 yards of purple taffeta for a man! Or making custom pillows that turn out even better than the customer thought they would. But there are also customers who try to find something wrong or expect you to drop everything to work on their stuff. I think that’s the worst part of doing alterations, the customers, not the work!
Neosha Mackey
Great ideas. I say I only sew for love–I have to love the person or the project. If someone thinks any if us can make it at less cost than at the mall, do they think a custom made garment, I.e. Designer would be less?m
Grizabella
My standard response to such requests is first to politely laugh out loud and say, “that’s like asking Michaelangelo to paint your bathroom!” They usually quit asking after that.
Jenny
I saw this on Pinterest and it’s my new craft motto.
“Sewing is like sex. If I love you enough, it’s free. If not, you can’t afford it.”
Even gifts are fraught with peril; I have had people expect what amounts to a lifetime warranty on items I gifted them that were neglected or treated roughly. “I loved that wristlet, but my dog got it and chewed the strap! Can you fix it?” “Oh, you know how rough I am on stuff. I ripped the pocket; can you fix it, maybe with a different fastener?” And of course, the request ends with the same chorus: “It looks like an easy fix!”
Grr.
In addition to feeding my creative side, sewing/knitting/tatting/crochet has taught me to advocate for myself, my time, and my family. (If you are asking me to do your stuff, you are taking away time from my family, so yes, it affects them.) I am far better at saying “no” now, after hard experience with insulting payment, little or no thanks, or no creative credit (that happened when my project, given for free, was given as a gift and gushed over as “perfect”).
In doing so, I have retained friendships, reclaimed my beloved pastimes, and freed up time to share my craft with those who truly appreciate it. Just this weekend, in fact, I will be teaching a new friend to sew, and I expect we will BOTH learn something new!
Don’t let anyone take away the happiness you feel in your sewing room, friends. Your sanity is worth more than that.
shanter
Someone I worked with (Person A; I’d known her about 6 months) found out I had offered to make my office-mate (known about 15 years) a simple cotton sleeveless blouse. Person A asked me to make her a lined wool pantsuit! I just said no, it was too difficult. (It really wasn’t, but she wasn’t “on my list” of limited friends and family.
Lori
I have used all of the responses in some form or another. I always get a good laugh when I wear something I have sewn and my friends want to know we’re I bought at. Keep in mind these are the friends that say home sewn garments are “tacky”, I only shop a well-known department stores! Of course I never tell them I made it. One friend went so far as to look for a label so she could call stores to find the brand, I just simple told her don’t recall was out of town purchase (the fabric was that is). What really irks me is when some one says ” I don’t sew it takes too long to complete a garment, or how their high school sewing project went bad. However in the next sentence, I am asked to make something for them within few days!
paulina
awesome stories. my husband use to ask me if I could sew & hem clothes, I laughed and told him my sewing machine doesn’t do that.
Rosa Ann Smith
I have been using numbers 8 and 9 for years. Unfortunately no one has ever come to clean house for me. I have however taught two sweet young ladies how to crochet ( I use 8 and 9 for all of my craft talents ). When my daughter was about 14 she developed her own strategy for her friends that asked her if her Mom ( me) would make something for them. She would look them in the eye and say, ” My Mom only makes things for people that she loves.”
Terri
My former neighbor knew I enjoyed sewing. He asked if I would please stitch a seam in his swimsuit. I said yes, he
Called me to our fence line, handing me a dripping wet swimsuit. Stunned, I took the garment went home. Within 15 min he was at my front door, asking for his repaired swimsuit. “I’m sorry, it is still in the clothes dryer “. I replied. Surprised he replied “you can’t see it wet?”
Elise
I love this article and ALL of the comments! What a lot of passionate responses–we’ve clearly all been there! I like to go with a pretty honest estimation: “that custom blouse/dress/skirt sounds like about $40 of materials plus 4 hours at $20/hour. If that’s something you’re interested in, let me know”.
Lately I’ve had people saying “oh I can’t sew” like as a woman they should and ha ha isn’t it funny they can’t do such an easy thing. I say “well like any skill, it takes passion and HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF PRACTICE. If it’s not something you love, why would you?” I feel like it’s a nice thing to say but underscores that I have a hard-won skill that should be respected.
michell
Wonderful list and fun responses! Only once ever did I sew a custom item for my close friend, and never again. I was asked to sew a formal vest for a wedding he was attending. He didn’t have a pattern or idea or anything, so I offered to go shop with him for a pattern and fabric (which he paid for) and said he had to keep me company (and fed with pizza) during the sewing hours. It took me 3 days at around 4-6 hours each day to custom fit the vest to his plus size frame. He was ASTONISHED at how long it took to sew the item and how much it cost. I think all together it cost over $100 with the fabric (and dinner delivery each night!). He went to the wedding, got tons of compliments on the vest, then lost it during the after party because he took it off and misplaced it. I was pretty mad about how much time I spent on it, and even though he kept me company, it wasn’t worth my time…especially since it wound up getting lost in the end! Nope, never again.
Now if anyone asks me to sew them clothes I usually give them an estimate of cost and time it took for me to make my latest item for myself. That usually stops them from asking again!
Ann Dennis
I’ve made things for people who, when the item is delivered to them in a plastic bag, stuff it in a corner or under their chair and carry on as though it was nothing important, like I just handed them their cleaned washing or something. On reflection, Ive decided they are either completely unaware of the time and effort taken to create the garment, or else are embarrassed that Ive made something for them and they cant return the favour. Either way, I dont let that happen now. I hang the garment to deliver it, so its quite visible in all its features and I never accept payment. Usually, people give a nice gift of wine, chocolates or flowers, which is a token of appreciation, not a trade. When dollars have been accepted, no matter the amount, the person thinks a fair exchange has taken place and there is no sense of appreciation of the gesture of agreeing to sew for them.
Cathy Junga
I keep my sewing habit to myself, but it recently got out to my co-workers when a photo of me was posted on FaceBook at a quilt retreat. Now I am being bombarded with requests for T shirt quilts, curtains, mending, clothing, you name it. I tell them all that I am more than happy to teach them how to do it for themselves and for the most part, that’s the end of it. I still have a few die hards and I”m hoping they get the hint.
Mary Gersetich
A friend recently suggested that I make him a quilt and I told him, I’ll put it on my to do list, after the 30 some projects that I already have started. 🙂
Boundaries Good
Great list! As a decades-long sewist, I am most grateful to have had parents who taught me the value of knowing when to say no. I will move mountains for my relatives and closest friends, as they do for me. I will also do free machine mending (not alterations) for good friends while they watch, and because they’ll do things to help me if I need it. For all others, and the requests are many as others here experience, I tell the truth: that I don’t sew commercially; but rather, that I only offer for sell what I’ve already made and that I only make what I have fun sewing. That makes it clear that I don’t do alterations or other custom sewing. And I never drop my prices for items I’ve sewn and put up for sale. Doing so gives the false impression that my (and all of yours here) time, expertise and materials are not worth charging for appropriately. If I want to give my sewn goods away, it’s to loved ones and charity. Last but not least, I never tell people they can’t afford me. I think it’s both presumptuous and insulting. Plus if they’re willing to spend whatever it takes, then I’d have to give yet another reason why I won’t do it. I worked with a guy years ago who was willing to pay me over $1000 for custom pants. It took a bit of time to realize he had ulterior motives. Glad I held my boundaries!
Jenny
I don’t know if they could see the smoke coming from my ears when they ask me to to alterations. Oh gosh man. Buy your correct size or custom make it. They always think that your labor is for cheep and your time is not important as theirs. Now I was one had to get use to saying “no ” which I still haven’t mastered yet. But I started to tell persons yes I’ll do it but you have to keep me company. Well the people that took up the offer learnt to value my time and paid me more than I expected them to. The ones that started off and got bored or never had the time to stick around never got their stuff altered and I told them to take their stuff cause I don’t like keeping garbage around my sewing room . It’s my place of solitude. Some people appreciate what you do and some Deffinitely do not. .. When persons ask me to do last minute sewing. I say sorry but I promise my sister to go shopping. Or no I have to do crating with my grandkids. They must know The importance of my time and what I would prefer doing. Thanks for the lovely post and encouragement to say NO.
iliana
I love how you approached this topic with such niceness. I have a hard time saying no, and all of my inlaw family has gotten thigns from me.. and they all ask for them( mind you never paying or giving the materials) and then not even a thank you. i made a throw for my sister in law, hand sewn and stitched as i didnt have my machine at the time, and she let her dog chew a hole half the size of it.. and she says.. im gonna send it to you so you can fix it… like it’s that easy to fix a quilt… so then she says.. then make me another one.. but bigger so i can use for my bed. not only did she rush me to make it.. whjile i was pregnant.. and theyc ame to visit.. but i had to pay for the materials.. and then didnt even egt a thank you.. aparently there was some loose tension on a few of the stitches.. and she sent me an article about ” how to set your tension” needless to say that was her way of saying thanks…. ive given up. i rather make a quilt for a stranger than for family anymore.
Jen
I’m reading this years after it was written and I can’t tell you how much it is appreciated! At this very moment I am working on a baby quilt that I am giving as a gift and the alteration that I didn’t have the courage to say no to keeps ruining my happiness. I have to change out thread and change the gears in my mind because I really can’t put if off one more day. Thank you for helping me see it is ok to say “no.”. Sewing is my happy place and alterations and favors for friends takes the joy out of it for me.
Lynn Samuels
Just yesterday an acquaintance asked if I could alter two dresses that have been given to her. They need to be taken in slightly but they are silk and she is not confident to tackle them herself. I said I would look at them and if I felt I could do a good job I would take them on. She said oh good. Thanks. She has been given loads of clothing that doesn’t fit her. She will bring a carrier bag of items for me to alter. She said I’d be fine with taking up the jeans !!! and was sure I’d be able to take in everything else so it fits her !!!! I was stunned. I would never have the cheek to con somebody like that. How she managed to switch from just two silk dresses to an entire bag of clothing. Amazing. I will have no problem in saying NO. In future I will always say I don’t take on alterations as I’m too busy making clothing and bags to spec.
Kay
I have done a few projects for my church, but they were pretty easy-seasonal draperies for the altar cross, curtains, etc., but I try to be very clear about WHEN they need them completed, and if I need more time, I will say so. If anyone asked me to make them something to wear, I could politely and truthfully refuse on the grounds that I do not yet sew at a professional level. Actually, I may retain this excuse even when I DO sew more professionally, as it sounds more polite than, “Sorry, but I don’t want to.” Sewing is fun for me, and I want it to stay that way. When I have time constraints and no control over the materials or design, it’s just a task.
Barbara
I’ve been asked to sew for other so many times I finally came up with a way to say “yes” and yet still not have to do their job. I tell them “yes, I can do that. Contact me later and we can go over the fees required for custom sewn items.” The word custom usually stops any further inquiry. If they press I will give them my hourly rate – which is high – and an idea of how long it might take to make the item. Then remind them that they will need to supply the fabric and any other needed supplies. I can usually see their brain crunching the math and deciding that the one from wallyworld may be just what they need. 🙂
Sandra CUNNINGHAM
Like all of you, I too had the asks. I also do embroidery and a friend of a friend (I didn’t know her at all) wanted me to monogram towels. I don’t ever charge for my work because if you didn’t pay, then you have no right to bitch. I told her I would ONLY do it if she had NO deadline. 1-2 wks later I get the call. I returned them.
My own daughter tossed her military uniforms to me when she visited and wanted all the stripes and badges done and hemming because she “wasn’t gonna pay what the tailor wanted.” I missed out going to Disney with them because I had to finish them before she went back.
And most recently my son-in-law came with several pairs of jeans for me to hem. I replied “I don’t want to do hemming, but I would be happy to help Melanie do it.” She has a machine and some ability and I would never let her screw it up. He replied, “NO! I want it done right!” I was shocked and couldn’t say anything after that!
Ellen
I printed the list for handy reference. I used to sew for others because I needed the money, but that’s no longer the case, so I seldom say yes to anything. I too hate alterations And mending ( even my own) and more than once have been the victim of someone asking for one item to be hemmed or whatever and then showing up with several others as well.
And I always felt guilty charging too much since I knew many of the people asking didn’t have much money. It’s just so much easier to only make gifts, or sew for the family only or just stick to simple baby quilts.
Dianne
Yes most people who ask for sewing favours do not know the work involved especially for alterations or mending. Which doesn’t make me mad, but a great opportunity to offer some information and insight. Kind of reminds me of my friend who took piano lessons – she was always asked to play (without any music of course)if there happened to be a piano at a gathering. Gave us something to laugh about. Thanks for a great post as we all need guidance in the fine art of refusal.
Barbara
I’ll say, “Let me show you my fabric stash, so you can see how many projects are ahead of yours. Some, well, quite a bit of it, is literally from last century, because I just can’t find the time to do all of the projects I want. I can also show you all of the “in-process” projects, which include probably 25 quilts, a few coats, many skirts and tops; there are also a few upholstery projects…You’d be much better off bringing it to someone who does it for a living….and you’d probably get it before the next century!”
Barbara
I once agreed to sew a quilt for a lady who I knew didn’t have much money (or taste, as it turned out). She got the fabric from a large fabric outlet. It was florescent flannel with some Disney theme. Awful stuff! It was so out of whack, that I figured I better wash it before trying to find its straight of grain. Unfortunately, it got very fuzzy and tired looking; the crispness was gone, but I had no choice but to proceed. I could tell that she was very disappointed, but the upside is that she never asked me to sew for her again! That experience taught me that saying no is sometimes the kinder route to take for both parties. I hated the fabric; I dreaded starting it; I resented the time that I had to spend on it, but because of that, I’ve never accepted another sewing job.
Liv Clarke
Thinking back now, having read all these comments, I realise that I have done too much free sewing without taking into consideration how much time and effort went into the projects. Like my daughter-in-law asking me to sew 2 sundresses for her grandmother. The fabric that was bought for this was HELL to sew and the work took ages to finish. Then my daughter-in-laws mother asked me to sew 6 lengths of curtain with a fabric that she’d bought. Easy sewing but a lot of measuring and cutting. The same daughter-in-laws aunt has also asked me to hem some dresses for her! I need to have a word with my sons wife – she has asked me to hem several sets of curtains – I hate it – mostly because of the fabric she always chooses!
On a different note – a friend who also sews gave me a half finished top that she was fed up with. It is still not completed but at least I get to keep it for myself!
Sewmaniac Granny
I’ve been sewing for 60 years and have made three wedding dresses in my lifetime, including my own. The other two were for my daughter and her friend who is like a daughter to me. I must have been crazy – I have never made one since then and NEVER will! My favorite response from above is the one about only sewing for someone I sleep with or gave birth to – with a smile of course – perfect!
Gina
I got to the point of just laughing and flat out saying I just don’t have the time for even doing my own repairs. I love fashion… I do fashion design on my free time when I can and altering or mending anyone’s clothing is not something I want to do. It’s boring. Most people that get into sewing love creating. There is a reason that there are jobs specifically for tailoring people’s clothing. They are good at it and they want to do it. Take your crap to the tailors!
Lizzy
Great post! I just tell people that I charge $20/hr. That usually stops them in their tracks. What they don’t realize is that I take my time to ensure things are done right. I always spend WAY more time than I charge for, but that is part of the alterations business. Your work must be perfect. Working with family members is completely different. My mother in law would buy 3-4 pairs of pants every couple of months and bring them over for me to hem. It was a family joke when they saw mom with a bag in her hands heading my way! When she said she wanted me to start making her sleeves smaller because she had lost weight, I told her that that was beyond my skill level. I don’t think she believed me, but she didn’t ask again!
Vickie Perrine
Sorry, I don’t sew for money.
You can do it for free then!
I’ll put you on the list, but there’s a 27 year wait. (I’m 62)
Katherine
Where was this two weeks ago when a friend asked me on a Monday if I could make a jacket for her daughter for Halloween. Not just any jacket but like Dolly Partons coat of many colors. Umm wait what!? At first I was like there is no way- but then I decided to try- at least put forth a little effort. So out to my new she shed, armed with an audio book and 2 hours later I came out with an amazing little jacket that I totally wanted to keep for my daughters and secretly want to ask for it back! Anyway I won’t be doing that again and hope no one takes ideas from it!!
Åsa Maria
Great list for good answers to this “problem” 👍
I use answer no 6 most of the time ☺️
Lynne Ballum
Thank you for these (still) timely responses. I too am a beginner sewists. I read the responses for requests and chuckled over several. Imagine my surprise, when a few minutes later and email from an acquaintance asked me to sew some home dec pillow covers. Because the people at JoAnn’s were not helpful. What?
I sent a very kind email, with links to local upholstery shops.
Thank you, thank you for the tips on how to protect our valuable time!
Teri McIntyre
Many years ago I had a sewing studio. People truely do not understand how much time goes into sewing so my partner and I finally came up with a basic charge per item…ie. Remove and replace a zipper $20 plus the cost of the zipper and matching thread. Hem an average dress or pants…$30 plus cost of matching thread. Hem a wedding dress $10 per yard. My point is, if you don’t mind the work and sharing your talent, having a price list right up front makes life infinately easier. Just dont do it for free. People need to learn the value of handmade
Virgilene
Thank you for posting this. Great advice.
Rosanne Fahrenbruch
I had a lady ask me to make her granddaughter an ice skating outfit. I politely declined, and she got all bent out of shape. She flat out asked “Well, why not”. I responded that “I don’t do that kind of work”. She was not happy with me, and I was quite annoyed with her.
Mary E Renn
Yeah! No more guilt laid on me for telling people “No”. I have been asked to fix zippers, sew on buttons (how did these people raise children if they can’t sew on a button?), hem a dress, etc. FOR AN OFF OF A FEW DOLLARS! Thanks for your responses.
Treasure
Thank you Melly. This is timely
Jessie
Those are such great responses!! Thank you!!
Jacqueline Brown
I worked at a fabric store for many years. My sister-in-law wanted floor length lace curtains and we had a fabric she liked. I went to cut her the yardage she needed and she talked me into cutting the yardage into the actual lengths for each window! After she made the purchase she asked me to actually do the sewing; 12 panels hemmed and rod pockets. It was a long time ago so I do think she paid me but I doubt it was worth the time and trouble it took. Luckily I’ve moved and divorced her brother so there will be no more such request. I was young and she was intimidating!
Phyllis
Thank you for posting this topic. My husband’s cousin seems compelled to give me her sewing projects. Yesterday, I mended a pair of her husband’s shorts. Now, she’s thinking up home decor projects that require sewing. She does not have a machine, nor does she sew. I regret sharing with her that during the pandemic I started teaching myself how to sew. My repertoire is very limited,(face masks, quilted tote bags, shopping totes, tablerunners, fabric baskets, easy beginner projects that are fun to make. After reading this article, I now have many responses I can use when I want to say NO. She’ll probably get mad at me for letting her down, but I’d get madder at myself for doing something I really don’t want to do. I’ve got to nip this one in the bud!
Mea Cadwell
I say this:
Oh, I wish I could help you out but I am just swamped right now. I may be able to tell you how to do it or you could look up some videos on youtube for help.
Eek! Mending? But that’s work! I like to sew for fun and only do it as a hobby. I may be able to tell you how to do it or you could look up some videos on youtube for help.
terri
When I had my basement refinished into a sewing studio, the City inspector asked me to take in a few of her pants because she had just lost 17 lbs. I told her that I didn’t sew for other people and that she should celebrate by buying new pants.
Cynthia Moore
Sewing is like sex. If I like you enough, you get it for free. If not, you can’t afford me.
Jocelyn
I simply state that my standard rate is $25.00/hour not including material. That usually prompts them to go elsewhere.
Susan
Three people have asked me to make quilts for them just recently. One actually said “oh I’ll pay for the fabric of course. My wife hasn’t been able to find one she likes.” How many red flags do you see?!
C.C.
Oh my gosh .. this is so funny! I can sew but I can’t hem or alter something LOL AND YES I get asked all the time, and over again from the same people???!!! LOL Thank you for this, this made me laugh HAHAHA
Marie
For Mother’s Day my son bought me a new sewing chair- so beautiful and comfy, then he brought his jeans for me to hem, sitting in my new chair and spending my day doing what I loved! He sat with me, watching how I did it and we laughed for hours about his gift… sewing for others always has gotten complicated- I offer to make something I make for myself and instead they ask me to redesign my pattern… haha, I’ve never gotten around to doing it, even though I was so shocked by the request that I didn’t turn it down… but it only takes one awful experience to learn to just say no!
Aprille Sweatt
I have been sewing for many years, as well as teaching sewing. My sweet Mama taught me how to sew, and I witnessed so many negative traits from her customers, friends, and family. She made custom clothing; altered clothing for stores and others; and taught sewing and tailoring classes for the local community college. She also made costumes, and owned/operated her own costume shop. Mama had the patience of Job, but I’ve had to work on that skill. I have heard and dealt with so many of the situations mentioned here. We could all write BOOKS! One of the most disappointing things which happened to me was when my favorite hairdresser was adamant that I make kitchen curtains for her. I told her that I do not take sewing orders or requests and sew only for pleasure. I also explained that I have outgrown my sewing room so much that I really do not have the space (nor desire) to make such large items. She kept insisting that it was SUCH an easy project and would not require much time or effort. I finally scolded her saying, “IF it is so easy, make them yourself.” I immediately felt that I would probably leave with the appearance of having my hair cut with a hedge trimmer, but the comment did not even phase her. This had been my third visit with the same constant demands (NOT requests), so it was also my last visit. I have used several of the responses mentioned in your article, and I have discovered that the best one is usually number 8, “I’d love to trade my time sewing for you… We can help each other out!” That is an offer that most people REFUSE (and in MY case, ALL people).
Caroline Clark
I am posting from South Africa. I wanted to thank you for challenging me to change my heart and my attitude through this article, especially Option 1 (Say Yes) – it has truly had an enormous impact on me. I used to be kinda “insulted” when people found out I could sew and would ask “can you fix this?” etc; as in “I sew beautiful things, not fix hems and holes”. But your article made me realise that, while I may not be able to solve every need in the world, I can help those who are in need or financially strapped in this way e.g. like the security guard at my work, who has to pay for his own uniform, and earns so little – but I can help him by (for example) the simple act of repairing a burn hole in his shirt. Now I see my ability to sew as a privilege, and as something that I can use to lighten someone else’s load and brighten someone else’s day in some small way. Thank you!
heather
Im also in SA Caroline, I love your comment! I sew for a living and I have been able to make matric dresses for girls in sad situations – and it has been a joy to be able to make someone feel loved in this way. There are of course lots of options with the charities that supply dresses for girls who cant afford them, but every now and then there is someone who’s circumstances are just so heartbreaking that it warrants making their dream dress for them as a gift. xo
heather
My absolute best request was a WhatsApp message from a dear friend : “Hey – you keen to hem my new curtains?” She wanted me to hem 6 curtains – for free, even though I sew for a living and was finally on leave for a few precious days over Christmas!!
Ariane
I love this post, I keep coming back to read it and all the (new) comments!
Hems, clothes, bags, curtains… Been asked, said no!
Lynnea Bennett
Has a person who is a client in my salon and what I call and acquaintance or casual friend (she has never been in my home) come in to the salon with bags of stuff. First asked me to make a particular type of dress and shirt (she is native American) and I declines saying I don’t think I am the person to do that for you. Then gave me a bag of fuzzy PJ pants and wanted me to make nursing pillows out of them. Explaining to me how simple it would be. I asked so who is suppling the pillows and she said well you can get them at Walmart cheap.. UH NO.. and also they all smelled so bad of smoke that I didn’t want them in the salon let alone my car or my home. She also brought in a bunch of fabrics wanting me to make a specific tote bag. When she finally left I realized she had taken the entire contents of a bargain bin of crafty items I had there when I had allowed her to take a few small things for her grandkids. I sat for a minute then sent her a message telling her that was not acceptable and to bring it all back and pick up anything she had left at the shop as I would NOT be doing any of it. I don’t sew for hire (yes I have done it in the past) but I make for my own enjoyment and I make what I WANT TO. NO amount of money she was willing to pay would get me to sew anything for her.
Mary B Norfleet
I learned a long time ago that “just saying NO” works best. You don’t have to give a reason. It may sound harsh, but it works
brendalynne1
and since you’re the only one that has to live with you forever, you should probably worry about you liking yourself more than anyone else liking you. THE besr!!!!!
Ann
A friend asked me to modify a dress she found in a thrift store. She wanted a huge collar removed from a lined bodice. A lot of work! Told her that if she would do all the seam ripping and get the collar out, I’d take it from there. Still haven’t seen the dress after months of waiting.
Barbara
If it is a project that I’d like to work on and a person that I’d be interested in working with I will say “Sure. Give me a call and we can discuss my fees.” That lets them know that I’m willing and that they will be paying me. Not many have actually followed up and that’s okay. I value my sewing tine and I do not sell it cheaply.
Vickie
I don’t sew for money.
You don’t have to charge me.
Well then, that makes it a gift, and I’m booked up until 2054. You are more than welcome to add your name to the list.
(I am currently 65)
Kim
My neighbor who is quite wealthy asked me if I’d hem a pair of pants for her. She is quite anal. I was reluctant to take it on because of that but I reluctantly hemmed them for her. She seemed to be pleased with my work but never even offered to pay me or give me a bottle of wine or anything. I thought for sure she’d say “Can I give you some money for that?” Nope! I make my husband shirts and make all my window treatments and of course my clothes. When people ask if I’d make them something, I just come out and tell people I don’t sew for people.
Charlotte
It is true that friends and acquaintances often ask me to alter or sew things for them. I don’t like the stress of getting things perfect, so most of the time I say no. I did recently have a request to make a Canasta table cloth which I did and then customized it even more to end up making them to sell. So that request turned out to be quite profitable for me. I don’t often shorten my own pants because I end up making them too short, so I take them to someone who does alterations, especially if I paid a lot of money for the pants. I’m quite happy to only sew for my family and recently for myself.
Judy
Boy did I enjoy reading all these comments!
It gets quite involved, sewing for people!
Fortunately I have only been asked about
3-4 times to fix things. It is a lot of work
and once the person was not too happy about
the hem I did on a wide skirt. I prefer just
to help my kids and grandkids.
Sue
I was utterly gobsmacked by an otherwise intelligent friend asking me (seriously!) to
make pinch-pleated drapes for her living room when she redecorated after a fire.
This would have been in return for her giving me two well-used size 10 T-shirts after my
housefire. (I haven’t been size 10 since grade school.) I don’t think she ever understood
what she was asking for.
Kathleen
I make baby quilts for any baby shower I am invited to. It never fails that someone will ask m1.e to make a blanket for them. I have a hard time saying no, but found this response, has never been followed with a yes, please make me a blanket.
1. The fabric costs up to 40.00
2. it will take me about 20 hours of gathering supplies, cutting and sewing.
3. I send the finished quilt to a quilter, for a charge of up to 50.00
4. getting on my to do list is your best bet, but I am choosy
I HAVE NEVER HAD A YES, GO AHEAD REPLY. .
Vanessa
Worth browsing the “Can You Sew This For Me” feed on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/canyousewthisforme
Some stunningly self-entitled “requests” – other people just unaware of the effort they are asking for.