It took some doing, y’all, but I convinced the Coach to write another post for you because he thinks he knows better than me what New Year’s resolutions I should make. And for those of you visiting for the first time, the Coach is my husband (who is a football coach in real life) that occasionally guest posts, mostly to poke fun at me. Enjoy!
I knew as soon as football season ended I would be asked to write something again but with age comes wisdom and I was able to use a few new tricks to postpone the inevitable. My newest trick, Look busy bought me a month. I’d make it look like I was drawing plays on my iPad but really I was just playing fruit ninja. Then, it happened. We’re driving in the car and she says “You should write a post for New Year’s.” She likes to spring that kind of stuff on you when you’re trapped in a moving vehicle. After quickly ruling out what would have been a painful tuck and roll, I reluctantly agreed. So this is a a letter mostly to my wife, but hey, if the advice applies…
8 New Year’s resolutions that all sewists (mainly my wife) should make (but won’t).
1. Stop using others’ wardrobes for fabric. I used to have more shirts but a couple of them have been repurposed over the years. Everything from dress shirts to t-shirts. I even lost a jacket once so the boy could have a new pair of wind pants.
This dress may or may not contain fabric from clothing I stole from my husband’s drawer
2. Use up your stash before buying more fabric. You have seven different shades of blue. Surely, one of them could do the job. Same goes for buttons. Did you even bother to look though the 483 that you have?
Actual pile from my wife’s most recent shopping trip. Because she needed 40 more yards of fabric.
3. Stop leaving pins everywhere. I realize I’ve already covered this in a previous post but I guess you didn’t read it. My arms look like they’re pincushions because I’ve literally been a human pincushion more times than I care to remember.
4. Donate the refashion pile. You started that pile during the Clinton Administration. Go ahead and donate it already. Or don’t, just use it instead of my clothes next time you need more fabric.
5. Finish the mending before starting a new project. That shirt just needs one button put back on and the kid can wear it again. How about letting the hem out on the little one’s pants? He’s wearing capris in the dead of winter. It would just be nice to have those things done instead of starting a five panel bodice thingy with a tapered something.
6. Spend less time on Pinterest and Instagram looking for sewing ideas and make the things already on your to-do list. If you have a list of sixteen things you want to make, after an hour spent on those two sites that list grows to 40.
7. Don’t make your new outfit the day you plan on wearing it. Wedding invitations go out months before the event. Why wait until the day of to figure out you don’t have anything to wear? I’ve lost count of how many parties/events we’ve been late to because of this.
Hey, I think this is an accomplishment – Melissa
8. Stop trying to change the way other’s dress. I do have a couple of shirts my wife made me that I wear and I like. I have also had to shoot down a lot of other projects because they just were not my style.
Or did I just realize the other reason why all my shirts keep getting cut up?
Want to read more of the Coach’s humor? Check out these posts:
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magda
The coach is the best. Missed him already. And he nailed it again!
Karen F
Oh he has done it again! Made me laugh, made me cry, made me
think. Did you really count all of those buttons or was that an educated guess? And really, Coach, under all that “tough guy” exterior is lurking a… Frustrated comedian who needs his own late night show ! Hey, do you think Aaron Rodgers and Olivia
Munn got engaged? Does God really hate the Cleveland Browns? Will there be another scandal at the Super Bowl this year? Worse than deflate gate? WE LOVE YOU COACH and our hubbies bow down to you!
Alison
Yep, all true, but none of it will happen 🙂 As for the pins – my kids won’t come into my sewing room with bare feet. And then they check the recliner in there very carefully before sitting…
Audrey
Coach!!! You’re treading on some thin ice here; are you trying to get out of writing another post? Never!!! I think he should be signed up to write several more as consequences for the things he said about fabric shopping. And mending!!!!! Hmmmmph
Judy
Coach..unless you want to stand over us..you know that cute shirt you have will make a great top for Melly. And we absolutely HAVE to go on Facebook..our sewing groups are there and we just can not miss a post. After all some of the girls and guys are so great and have such good advice. Aren’t pins a decorative addition to everyone’s home? And that dress for the wedding was put off cuz well you know it’s that time of year for sales and we just have to go to the fabric stores…those blues you mentioned aren’t liberty blue and we need liberty blue really badly. Okay now that I have mouthed off I have to say you remind me of my deceased husband and he was the most precious person in my life. Please keep us laughing until we cry!!!
Maureen
My practical side says this to my creative side ALL THE TIME. Your hubs is awesome. Great list, I quite agree (even if I don’t have a husband to steal fabric, er clothes from.)
Kirsten
Yes, my husband would raise his hand and vote for these resolutions….. must be a male habit
Well, I just stopped by to check and see, if I should do one ot the other thing from this list.
Puh, lucky me: I´m not good for 1,3 and 7&8, buuuuuuttttt my hubby would ask, if
we could just copy & paste the others instead e.g. # 5 and #6 so we make it 8 again 🙂
Joy
Love this: “A five panel bodice thingy with a tapered something.” Hey, that’s how I talk about sewing! I know the concepts but falter on the correct terms. Maybe I need to read some more sewing blogs, or go on Pinterest more, or…
Dara
ALWAYS ,ALWAYS FUNNY, ALWAYS ALWAYS TRUE!
agnes
Omg Coach you are the bomb! Maybe Melissa just needs more storage…
Nickie
PSHT. As if mending were the same as sewing. These are as related as burpees are to Friday Night Lights. SHEESH.
Marleigh
Coach,
Perhaps if you took on the mending, your wife would have more time to make her wedding attire early…. (coaches sew too!) OH, but then you would be stealing her clothing…nevermind… 😉
Mea Cadwell
Exactly!
Mending = work
Sewing = fun
Allison @ The Tall Mama
The Coach does it again! This really could have been written by my Husband as all those resolutions apply to me! x Allison @ http://www.thetallmamastyle.BlogSpot.com
Michelle
That made me chuckle! Mostly because it is all true.
I am going to have my husband read it tonight. LOL
Judy
I always smile when I see your new posts in my inbox and you never disappoint! Happy New Year!
Evy
hahahahahahaha! Awesome 🙂
Nikki
This is my first time visiting your blog and this post is HILARIOUS!!! I’m pretty sure most husbands (mine included) of fellow sewists would agree with most, if not ALL 8 items listed. The Coach definitely let knows what he’s talking about.
Great post!!
Nikki
AFashionAddict.com
Karenj C
Something the goofball said that made me laugh at first but then brought back my anger. My 22 yr old son moved out last year (wow that is the first time I’ve got to say “last” year!) it started late last summer with him only coming home one or two nights a week. It’s all good, he is an adult but somewhere along the way I started taking clothes without asking….Hey, I’ve been his mother for a lot of years, I know what he wore, and what he hadn’t in a very long time. 😉 Well, He took the plunge and officially moved out in November. WITHOUT packing his bedroom, but by coming over to hang with mom and lil bro one day a week and leaving with a thing or two. During that time he cleaned out his closet. The box he filled with clothes for goodwill with me saying “HEY I can really have fun with some of that” turned into a small argument. He had the nerve to tell me I had enough of that kinda stuff. FIRST OF ALL who is the parent here??? And second of all funny how a lot of what he does wear is what I made and nothing in the box was anything I made or redesigned! WELL somehow when my back was turned he DID take that box. I still get mad 2 months later every time I try to make my 9 yr old son something. Lost half of my income last summer so it is a big deal, I can’t buy fabric which is tough enough compared to what I used to be able to do. I think “Can you imagine what your brother dropped at gw that I could have used for the sleeves for this?” SO THAT is why we need those piles, boxes, closets (or in my case totes in the basement) full of that stuff instead of hauling it off! Not to mention as my homeschooled 9 yr old is always preaching “reuse, recycle, re-purpose” (aawww come on, it IS a good excuse!!!!
Antje
Your Blog is so cute!!!!
I will come back!!!!
Antje
Pamela H
First time commentor here Melly, I love your blog and this post by Coach is hilarious! I especially loved the freshly washed pile of fabric photo, yeah, 40 yards eh? LOL! Very cool post. Hope he writes more. Maybe an April fools post? LOL! Happy New Year!
Maddy
I missed the intro, made it down to #3 and thought, “this must be the Coach writing this post. Melissa would never say these things.” I’m actually pretty much planning now on sewing my outfit for next Saturday the day of. I miiiiiiiight get to it the day before.
Kelley
My husband loves this….he suggested I print it out and frame it in the sewing area….recently his garage space…lol
Tell the coach he is not alone but hey what would they do without us we make life interesting!!!
Sally
What a hoot! Coach can temper his wisdom with his wit….love it!
Kathrin
so so true please post again always love your way of looking at things!
Marian
Thanks Coach, #5 & #6 – guilty!! and yes, I am now starting on my pile of WIP’s & UFO’s before I start more; oh #2 – according to my friends, I don’t have a stash, as my fabric will only cover the 3ft x 4ft top of the dining table to a depth of 1 inch ( I am very picky about what I buy)
Juli
I read this to my husband (I’m also a fabriholic +), and he said “And he’s still married?” Seriously, #2,4,5, and 6 SO apply to me. Ya gotta love the hubbies [we’ve only been married 37 years 🙂 ]
sparkle3
I’m loving that Coach knows what capris are…
Hattie
Lol! I was thinking the same thing.
Allison
Love this and it is so true, I am a sewer too so I can fully relate to this ……. you go Melly, it is a special gifted talent
Donna Posey
1 & 2 FORGET IT. 4 OK. 5 It’s BORING, you guys learn how to do it. 6 NAW, inspiration is always coming and I may learn something new. 7 yes, I used to do that as a teenager but I was never late. I had to get my partying on before my Father brought me home at 11 o’clock.
I plan to use the wool fabric from my mother’s clothing..passed away Super Bowl Sunday 2013.. and my HubbyDear’s suits that he can’t wear anymore and felt them in in the washing machine.
Kathy
Dear Coach,
Think of the money Melly saves by repurposing things you obviously weren’t wearing (at that precise moment of time). As for the 483 buttons and 40 yards of fabric, they are the ones you know about.
I love your posts, keep them up.
Kathy
To all sewists,
It is easier to get rid of the hubby than change all those things about yourself. There is nothing better than when you are at the checkout in the fabric store and they ask if you want a receipt, to say “no, I don’t justify my crafting / sewing to anyone!”
Carine
Whaow this is the funniest and the most realistic post I ever read about sewing (or about being a sewer’s husband) I could not stop laughing. Melly, you are a lucky girl to be married to such a funny and understanding man (sorry if my english is bad, I’m French). From now on I will follow your website. Thank you so much for this moment.
Suzan martinez
Coach you’re taking all the fun out of creating these great wearables! LOL!
terri
This post was too hilarious. Coach you must speak for all husband’s of sewers in America. .lol..keep ‘ em coming!
Maria
This is hilarious! So true… ahahaha We read this both of us and laugh a lot!
Leslie Kelly
Hilarious! And so true. BUT I have to say that Home Depot has taken more than their fair share of our income on tools. Honey, do you really need another drill bit set? Answer: Yes, this one is for blah, blah.) And Honey, don’t you already have a saw?? Answer: Yes, but this one is hand-held and uses the battery pack for the drill. And don’t you have some wood you can use in that huge pile? No, I need a new piece- I want to use oak, and those are pine. And he talks to his tools, only the words are usually not-so-nice as mine. So I think it is a fair trade. The other day while cleaning the garage I made the comment about how much stuff he has, and that he has way more little gadgets and thingys than I do. His comment was: Maybe, but I don’t think so. But just think about how much more stuff I have to take care of than you. I have the electrical, plumbing, cable, and construction of the whole house to care for. And I have the car, the yard and the motor home. You only have you to sew for. And that is for enjoyment. Mine is necessity. To which I just shook my head and laughed, and realizing that if I didn’t have that outlet, he might have a house, but not a home. I chuckled all the way to Home Depot where I can always find a new toy for me to use in my sewing/craft room. I think you men would be wise to think that way about the fabric store. Wonder what you could find in the fabric store that would be better and cheaper than what you would find in Home Depot? And Home Depot NEVER gives 40% off coupons. Just my two cents! And by the way, we’ve been married almost 33 years, and love to tease each other still.
granders
? wonderful post. So so true, I’m guilty of some of them. I’m still laughing ?. But I don’t always have much time but I have to find it nonetheless cause I love this site
Christina @ Keeping Home
Haha! Good advice, actually. Some of which I need to take . . . . 🙂
Laurie
Hey coach… I have WAY more than 483 buttons… just saying!
Gma Cathy
You only have 483 buttons? You poor deprived sewist! Should we send you some?
Anne Gardner
Guilty as charged ?
Grapenutquilter
Yup! Thanks Coach! Laughing out loud as it is sew true but I won’t admit it out loud! ✂????
Charlene Cairn
I did enjoy reading this. Seven blues isn’t very many. My husband and I were married 56 years before he died nearly two years ago, and some time before that I finally got him to understand that even though I had 27 greens, I didn’t have the right one. Also that I had to buy that piece of fabric because when I want it in three years’ time it won’t be available. BUT I never never touch anybody else’s anyting without asking them first.